I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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