He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
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I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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