My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
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I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
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He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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