Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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