"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
