I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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