i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
