Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
