I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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