I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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