We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
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You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
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I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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