I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize