Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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