made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
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I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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