I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have fence marks all over my body
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
