my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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