We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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