Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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