Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
