you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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