3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
