Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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