I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
