Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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