remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
