One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
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Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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