Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"