My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?