She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
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apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.