I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
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The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?