You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
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