just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
