I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.