I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?