I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
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Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
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While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.