I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants