I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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