Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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