I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
