hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
