I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am one with the molecules
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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