4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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