:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
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There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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