Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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