party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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