I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
