is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How external is "for external use only"?
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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