PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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