whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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