I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize