Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine