i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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