I wannas sexs uuuuu
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
