The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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