dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
