Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize